I’m Not Mean, I’m Maxed Out: When Too Much Responsibility Looks Like Attitude
Sometimes I say things I wish I could take back.
A smart-mouthed comment.
A not-so-colorful word or two muttered—or shouted—in frustration.
A sharp tone, often at the wrong moment, sometimes in front of the people I love most.
Sometimes it’s directed at my kids, after asking for the same chore to be done for the third or fourth time. Sometimes it’s aimed at coworkers on my full-time job when I feel like I’m being buried under responsibilities I didn’t ask for but somehow inherited. Sometimes it’s not what I say—but how I say it. The sigh. The silence. The stoic facial expression. The side-eye. The edge.
I’m not mean.
I’m just maxed out.
And even though I’m not doing it all alone—I still feel like I’m carrying more than one person should have to.
We’re Doing This as a Team—But It’s Still A Lot
I’m incredibly grateful for my husband. He shows up, every day, not just as a partner—but as someone who holds things down when I feel like I’m unraveling.
He gets the kids’ clothes ready for school and most days mine as well. He tackles the laundry. He helps take care of the house. After his full-time job, he still meets with clients for our business, and even manages invoicing and the financial admin work—because he saw how much it was weighing me down.
While he’s doing that, I’m usually figuring out dinner, which—if we’re being honest—is often unhealthy fast food because we’re stretched too thin to plan, shop, and cook the way we want to. We’re managing together—but our lives never really feel balanced. And it rarely feels sustainable.
Between parenting, running a business, working full-time jobs, and meeting everyone else’s needs, we’ve somehow made ourselves last on our own list. And that’s when the irritability and sometimes snappiness begins for me (thankfully my husband is the calmest person I know)!
When the Pressure Has No Place to Go
There’s a specific kind of frustration that builds when you’ve asked your child—again—to clean their room. To take school seriously. To help without being reminded. To care about something other than sports or screen time.
Even with support, it’s possible to still feel isolated. Not because no one is helping—but because you’re still carrying too much emotionally, mentally, and logistically.
To add to the complexities, we are operating a mission-driven business outside of working full time jobs—one that exists to serve and uplift others rather than focus solely on profits.
Operating an L3C isn't just hard work. It's heart work. And that takes more from you than most people ever see.
So yes, sometimes I reach my breaking point. Sometimes my responses are delayed or tone seems off. Sometimes I yell at home, and sometimes I say a not-so-colorful word or two.
Not because I’m careless—but because I’m human. And like so many others… I’m just tired.
Not a Guilt Trip—Just a Check-In
I don’t want my kids to remember me as the angry mom.
I don’t want my team to feel like I’m hard to talk to.
I don’t want my tone to speak louder than my love.
But I also know that the only way to change that is to be honest about what’s going on beneath the surface.
Because this is what so many of us are going through:
We’re doing everything we can, with what little we have left in the tank.
We’re grateful—but also overwhelmed.
We’re supported—but still overextended.
We love deeply—but sometimes speak harshly.
And we want to do better.
What I'm Learning (and Practicing Imperfectly)
1. Pause Before the Boil
It’s hard. But worth it. A breath. A step out of the room. A whispered prayer. “This isn’t an emergency. I don’t have to react right now.”
2. Speak What’s True—Even If It’s Hard to Hear
“I need help.” “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” “This feels like too much for one person.” These are vulnerable truths—but they’re also boundaries. And yes, sometimes, you’ll say them to a boss or colleague who doesn’t have the skill, emotional maturity, or willingness to help you.
When that happens, it’s not a reflection of your failure to communicate. It’s a reflection of their leadership gap.
In those moments, you have options:
Document your efforts to communicate and set realistic expectations. Create a record of what’s been requested, what you’ve been assigned, and what support you’ve asked for.
Prioritize tasks ruthlessly. If they won’t help you delegate, you choose what’s urgent, what’s important, and what can wait. Protect your capacity.
Build quiet boundaries. Stop taking on more than is sustainable, even if it means things get left undone. That’s not laziness—it’s leadership when leadership above you is lacking.
Find external support. Whether that’s mentorship, therapy, or peers who get it—sometimes, healing conversations happen outside your org chart.
Consider the long-term fit. If your workplace consistently ignores your boundaries and exhausts your well-being, it’s not disloyal to ask if you belong there. It’s self-respect.
Speaking up is step one. What you do next, if they won’t listen, is where your power truly begins.
3. Share the Mental Load
Even if you’re doing things together, ask: Are we carrying the same emotional weight? Communicate. Trade off. Name the invisible tasks, too.
4. Repair Out Loud
“I’m sorry I yelled.” “That wasn’t fair.” When my kids or coworkers hear me take ownership, it models growth. Not perfection—progress.
5. Lower the Bar Where It Needs Lowering
Everything doesn’t have to be homemade, spotless, or perfect. Fast food happens. Unfolded laundry happens. We don’t have to parent or lead for performance—we can lead from presence.
Grace for the Overwhelmed
This isn’t just about me.
It’s about all of us who are carrying so much, often in silence.
It’s about the parents who are trying to show up at work like they’re not raising a family, and at home like they don’t have deadlines.
It’s about the spouses doing their best, who are also tired and underappreciated.
It’s about the business owners who are doing the work for others, not for endless profit—and wondering when someone will pour back into them.
You’re not broken because you’re overwhelmed. You’re not mean because you lost your temper. You’re not weak because you need help.
You’re human.
You’re trying.
You’re growing.
And you're not alone.
Let’s stop normalizing silence, snapping, and shame.
Let’s start telling the truth—and giving ourselves grace to rest, repair, and reset.
Let’s learn to speak with love, even when life is loud.
We’re not mean.
We’re maxed out.
But we’re also doing the best we can.
And that still matters.
If this blog spoke to something you’ve been feeling, you don’t have to carry it alone.
Join one of our virtual support groups or enroll in our mental health courses designed for real people navigating real life. Whether you're a parent, a professional, or simply someone trying to show up while holding it all together—we’re here for you.
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Mon Amie’s Business, Wellness and Learning Solutions are pioneers in championing mental health awareness and organizational excellence. We specialize in fostering mental health awareness, providing tailored support to individuals and families affected by high stress, anxiety, depression, and neurodivergent disorders, and offering comprehensive workplace wellness solutions and management consulting for small to mid-size organizations.
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