How Exposure Therapy Changed My Life: A Hopeful Story of Courage and Resilience
I’ve always been a bit of a worrier. As a child, I was afraid of the dark, of heights, of dogs, and course, like most children, of something being under my bed or in my closet. As a little girl, I was most afraid of vomit, or even the pure sound of coughing that could lead to vomiting. My family knew that I was extremely afraid of being around people who were coughing or possibly going to vomit growing up. If someone was nearby, I'd run away and hide until they were finished before I'd come out. We didn't know why I was so afraid, and when I was growing up, anxiety and phobias were not really talked about in our community. As I got older, my fears became more complex and took on a different form. I experienced an onset of social anxiety, which left me struggling with a fear of going out in public, speaking to new people, being in large crowds, and entering unfamiliar situations. It was only when I realized that I'd unknowingly grown up with a specific phobia – emetophobia, or the fear of vomiting – that things began to make more sense to me. And because of the amount of stress and pressure I was under in my life, I realized I needed help. Despite medical intervention, I did not experience the desired outcomes. I knew I needed to face my fears head-on, but I didn’t know how.
In the process of searching for answers, I was exposed to the idea of exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that involves confronting your fears in a safe and controlled environment. With the help of my therapist, I slowly began to face my fears, and it changed my life! If you’re struggling with fear or anxiety, I hope my story gives you some hope. Keep reading to learn more about my journey and how exposure therapy helped me overcome my fears.
At first, the thought of facing my fears was overwhelming. The idea of intentionally making myself feel anxious seemed counterintuitive. But, with the guidance of my therapist, I began to see the benefits of exposure therapy. Each week, we would create a plan to expose me to different situations and triggers related to my emetophobia. At first, the exposure was small. We began by watching videos of people vomiting. While it was uncomfortable, it helped me realize that I could handle the feeling of anxiety and that the world wasn’t going to end if I was exposed to my fear. Next, we moved on to smelling and tasting things that could potentially make me nauseous. This was challenging, but it helped desensitize me to the triggers. Eventually, we moved on to bigger and more challenging exposures. I went to a theme park and rode roller coasters, something I had avoided for years out of fear of getting sick. I ate at new restaurants and tried new foods, something that used to make me incredibly anxious. Each time, I was scared and anxious, but I pushed through and reached the other side feeling relieved and proud. One of the biggest fears that accompanied my emetophobia was becoming pregnant and starting a family. I couldn't fathom the idea of pregnancy due to the possibility of experiencing morning sickness. Throughout the process of exposure therapy, I learned that avoidance had only made my fears worse. By confronting my fears head-on, I was able to take back control of my life. I learned that it was okay to feel anxious and that I was capable of handling it. A few years later, my husband and I started our family, and now have three amazing children. Unfortunately, with each of my pregnancies, I had hyperemesis gravidarum, which is frequent vomiting throughout the duration of the pregnancy. I'm thankful for the experience of confronting my fears before we started our family. Doing so allowed me to embrace motherhood confidently, despite the difficulties of my pregnancies.
Our beautiful daughter and handsome sons unexpectedly join in on mom & dad’s photo!
Now, I’m not saying that exposure therapy is a cure-all for everyone. It took time and effort to see results, and it wasn’t always easy. However, for me, it changed my perspective on my fears and gave me the tools to manage them. If you’re struggling with fears or anxiety, I encourage you to talk to a therapist about exposure therapy. It might be scary and uncomfortable at first, but it could also be life-changing. You don’t have to let your fears control your life.
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